"Golden child" siblings

I have one child, who, for the most part, simply has an easier life than his brother. By that, I mean that he picks up skills (athletic and academic) faster and is by nature more organized and more adept with social situations. This is not to say his brother doesn't have amazing qualities, too; he really does and I am so proud of him. It's just that he tends to have to work harder at almost everything, and I can see that this can be frustrating for him. I make an effort to focus on the particular talents of each one, and I encourage them to them cheer for each other's accomplishments. But at some point, should I sit down with my one son and simply give it to him straight that yes, some people just have to work harder in life? I'd also tell him that this isn't necessarily a negative, because he may feel a greater sense of pride when he does meet his goals. He also will naturally learn to perservere when the going gets tough, which he has done so far (that's a big reason why I'm so proud of him!). At the same time, I don't want to assume that my other boy is always okay and doesn't need my help too. If anyone else is in this situation, please let me know what has helped your kids and prevented some jealousy!

 

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I'm probably breaking every

I'm probably breaking every rule a psychiatrist would recommend, but I tell my son (who struggles more at school) when he's better than his sister at certain tasks. I know it's probably wrong but I flat out say "you're better at cursive, you're better at finding place values, you're better remembering exactly what the teacher says." I only do this when my daughter has said something mean to him or he's complaining about not being good at something related to school.

You're so right to remember that the "golden child" might struggle, too. I try to spend sometime with my golden one before bed when all the secrets tend to come out -- just to check in and see what's *really* going on.

Kristen De Deyn Kirk
Editor, Mytidewatermoms.com

Secrets at bedtime

Kristen, we do that too! Storytime has graduated to chat time for my oldest daughter and I, when she can ask me burning questions about friends, or problems or what to wear to her first middle school dance on Friday (that'll be a new blog!) and I love our time. For my middle child she's the one reading to me, and for my youngest it's our snuggle, story and lullaby time. No matter how busy we've been during the day, calming down and having cuddle and chat time with each one makes the day end on a nice note!

Michelle Galvez
Community Editor




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