Hold him back?
OK, moms, give up the advice!
My son turned 4 in August and is in a 4-day morning preschool program. He's come really far just since September, recognizes most of his letters and can legibly print his name. His teacher just called me to say that I might want to take advantage of Monday's registration for next year's preschool and sign him up for 5-day four-year-old preschool.
I had planned on not having to pay for school anymore since he'd be in a great public school. I know he'd make the cut off date but I also knew he would be the youngest and smallest in the kindergarten class. K is still a half day program at our elementary school.
The teacher said he's still a bit wiggly and would benefit from another year of preschool. I respect her and her insight, but is it that he really does need another year to mature before kindergarten or would they benefit from my tuition payments for another year? It's also a non-refundable $130 registration fee, so it's not like I really want to register him just to buy myself more time to think.
What do you think?
Michelle Galvez, Community Editor
As a preschool director, it
As a preschool director, it is rare that I suggest a child be held back, and then only with documented reasoning. Most preschools are not equipped to handle or diagnose learning disabilities.
When I have a child whom could be questionable, I ask the parents to make an appointment with their local elementary school and have the child tested. This is called "Child Find" in Isle of Wight schools. There are times that a child is immature by a few months and another year of preschool will solve the problem. At other times, there could be a speech, sight or hearing problem that is to blame and easily correctable.
We had a parent this year who wanted to leave her child in 3's because he didn't talk as much as his older brother. After testing, the child was placed in speech therapy, but the parents were advise to put him into 4's where he belonged. He couldn't speak well, but he is smart as a whip.
In the end, trust your gut.
Do remember, we are still in a recession and it might be hard to fill up a 5 day class. Get a professional opinion before holding your child back.
My Two Cents
Hi Michelle
As a preschool teacher, I would love to offer my point of view...
this is a subject that comes up frequently with parents of PreK age children.
I would be very surprised if your son's teacher was advising you to keep him at the school for financial reasons. It's hard to believe she would have any vested interest in the school's bottom line, as she surely gets paid the same salary regardless of the number of students. She also wouldn't be his teacher again, would she? Unless of course the school director asked her to make the call, I would tend to think your son's teacher only has his best interest at heart.
However, she may also be simply wrong. I've seen preschool teachers recommend an extra year for kids who ended up not staying, and they did perfectly well in kindergarden. On the other hand, if she is a good teacher, she likely has some insight that even a parent might not have with regard to how your son will do in a more structured academic setting. Is Monday really the only day you would be allowed to register him for next year? Perhaps they would allow you some extra time, especially since they just sprung this on you, and obviously it is not a decision that can be made lightly. It does sound rather pushy for them to have dumped this on you with such short notice. I would question the school and their policy regarding this. They need to give a parent a much earlier indication that their child might need to consider a PreK program.
I don't know if this helps you at all, but I think ultimately you must go with your gut and do what you think is best for your son. If you do trust your son's teacher, perhaps you could schedule a conference with her to discuss the issue further (assuming they allow you to register your son later if necessary). Being "wiggly" is a very vague reason to hold a child back a year. Most 4 year olds are wiggly! Most kindergardeners are too! But if your son's teacher can give you specific reasons why she feels he isn't ready, like wiggly to the point that he does not follow direction or cannot pay attention for more than 4 minutes at a time, then perhaps you may want to consider that extra year. Kindergarden readiness is much more than letter and name recognition. Social maturity is as important, if not more so, as it is the foundation of a good scholar.
I guess all I am saying is, trust your son's teacher, but trust your gut more. It is probably worth exploring, for your son's sake, but at the same time, if you feel he will do well in kindergarden, then he probably will.
Good luck!
Michelle, I would send him to
Michelle, I would send him to kindergarten, especially given that it's a half day. If he struggles too much, he could always go again next year. He sounds like many other boys (with being wiggly!) and I wouldn't even worry about it. If he was screaming and didn't want to be away from you and he didn't know any letters and couldn't write his name, well, maybe, maybe, I'd consider holding him back, but even then, you have 9 more months until school starts.
Kristen De Deyn Kirk
Editor, Mytidewatermoms.com
I would send him to kindergarten too
My older son's kindergarten teacher -- who was wonderful with him even though he was a wiggly, attention-lacking handful -- told me that she believes kids who meet the age requirement for kindergarten should almost always make the leap, unless there are very clear problems involved. The range of personalities and academic and social abilities in both of my son's K classes were very wide, and the teachers took each child as he/she came in and worked to get everybody where they needed to be. I can say for sure that there were lots of wiggly boys! My younger son has a July birthday and is one of the youngest in his class. He's now in 1st grade and is doing fine academically and socially. Still, only you know in your gut what's best for your son... I'm sure you'll make the right choice!
Alison Johnson
Thank you!
Wow, thank you everyone, I think the overwhelming advice is to seek guidance but in the end trust my gut.
If he needs another year of preschool, or if he will succeed in kindergarten ... I think my issue was the pressure of making an immediate decision 9 months before school starts again.
The teacher said she was doing me a favor since spots fill up quickly and I should buy myself some time to see if it would be needed. It really felt like a sales pitch though - hurry up, if you wait all the good ____ will be gone and you'll miss out!
My gut hasn't made a decison on sending him on to K or not, but my gut has decided that it's too early to decide anything. The teacher still has another 6 months of school to teach and evaluate. My son still has 6 more months to mature, learn and be assessed. I still have 6 months to help him learn, guide him, watch him and give my gut time to decide what is right in this challenging decision.
If the preschool route is the way to go and all spots are full, it's not the end of the world, I'll find a new school, teach him at home or get on a waiting list. I'm not going to let anyone rush me into deciding and forking over hard earned cash.
I did call the elementary school and ask their advice and she said January is way too early for them to assess potential students; but that I could register him in the spring and in the summer all registered students would be called and asked to come to school to be assessed to see if they are ready at all, if they can do 1/2 day, or if they need their full day program to get up to speed. I'm glad that their professional guidance will also be offered to help me make that decision when the time is more appropriate.
I appreciate all of your opinions! Thank you, Michelle Galvez, Community Editor