Silver lining
It's nice every once in a while to get a new perspective, try to focus on the blessing and opportunity of something that otherwise might incite complaints and depression. Or think about how good you have it even if it doesn't feel very good right now. For example, I quit my job to go to graduate school, and boy I'm going to miss those trips to Marshall's with my paycheck (but I sure am going to enjoy afternoons with my kids and the satisfaction of earning a degree.)
That kind of reframing applies to military life too. My husband's deployed often and for long stretches of time. He's missed countless holidays and birthdays and he's never here when the car breaks down, the roof leaks, I need surgery or I get locked out of the house. Whine, whine, whine. On the bright side I can usually count on hearing from him at least weekly via web cam, facebook, email or phone call. And yet, we wives whine about that too, if the communication goes down or they're busy and it's longer than a couple days or weeks.
But I was reminded of how spoiled I really am last week when my 87-year-old grandmother came for Christmas. She lives cross country in a nursing home and my brother sprung her from the joint and flew 3000 miles so we could have four generations under one roof for the holiday. She regaled with me stories of the war breaking out (the big one, WWII) and my grandfather rushing back to base and leaving with the Army Air Corps on deployment ... for THREE years ... with maybe monthly letters. Wow, three years of taking care of kids, leaky roofs, sicknesses, lonliness and who knows what else, with only a letter every few weeks to tide her over.
No daily discussions via email about little Johnny's bad math grade, or instant advice on how to deal with an unexpected bill, or a kiss for encouragement blown through the web cam. I'm sure yesterday's military wives still complained, and maybe their older generations reminded them of even harder times in years past. But I"m going to check my whining at the door, because you know what? it sure is hard being a single parent regardless, but it could be worse. So I'm going to cherish my technology and frequent communication and remember how good I do have it!
Michelle Galvez, Community Editor
Military families
Great picture of your grandparents! I know military spouses have it rough, but I often say the kids have the second hardest job in the military. My dad served in the Navy until I was eight. He retired in 1972 after 20 years. I only remember hearing his voice on a reel-to-reel tape player that he would make for us. My mom taped us singing Christmas songs to him. I am thrilled today's military children have it better. My daughter's class talked to one dad via video email who is deployed. She still thinks that was so cool.
Susan Smigielski Acker