Too Much Advice

How much advice to a new mom is too much?

Our niece recently had a baby. While she is far away in another state, we have managed to keep up with his growth via the F-word – Facebook. She has been around modern technology so she frequently posts something about him. Today is was a picture of him on his back on a colorful blanket staring at a mobile.

I commented that those play stations are great for tummy time too and how much our now-eight-year-old daughter loved being on her tummy on her colorful blanket. She seemed to prefer it because she could reach the different parts. Our niece then commented that her little darling gets tummy time as well on the play station.

I was not offended by our niece, in fact, glad to hear she is on top of things. However, I thought this was not the first time, I made a suggestion.

True, I have been a mom going on eleven years now. I worked part-time when our first came along. We the second was born, I became a freelance writer and editor working just one day a week. So I spent much time with them during the day. And I have been involved with Tidewater Parent Magazine for nine years. I have read and written a few things about babies. However, I am not an expert.

I remember getting some advice that I did not ask for. Sometimes, I could be a bit sensitive, especially if it was something all parents should know. The worst of it was – “They grow so fast. Appreciate this time.” Really? I would think. Do I look like I am wishing time away?

Looking back, I know I was tired which made me sensitive.

My husband was sometimes sensitive to advice from other dads. One time, he had a friend visit when our daughter, Charlotte, was 10 months old. She was walking a bit. Along with the friend came his daughter, who was about two and half years old. His friend’s daughter would come over and pick up Charlotte, many times surprising her or just plain making her mad. My husband got frustrated after several times of telling the little girl nicely to stop picking up Charlotte.

Finally, after about the fifth time, my husband used a stern voice, which caused the little girl to become upset. With that, her dad, said of Charlotte “she is not going to break.” He then gave my husband a lot of parenting advice. None of which my husband appreciated.

With this thought in mind, I know my niece has a lot of advice coming her way with the help of a mother, father, grandmothers, step mother and even aunts who live closer. So I have decided with every post of her precious angel – I will just comment on how cute he is.