Tweaking homework
I had a bad parenting moment yesterday afternoon. My 8-year-old son had struggled through his math homework, partly because it was tough for him to understand and partly because he wasn't really trying. He had grown increasingly frustrated as time wore on. I got him to correct some wrong answers and neaten up his handwriting, and by that point he was really over it and sick of me too, I'm sure. So when I noticed two more wrong answers after he'd gone outside to play, I erased what he had written and put in the correct ones, doing my best to forge his handwriting. I know that was not the right thing to do, and I always swore I wouldn't be one of those moms who did their child's work for him and bailed him out when he had done something wrong. Have other moms done things like this? In retrospect, I realize that I should have tried getting him to return to the paper after he'd had a chance to blow off some steam. What else do people do to resist the urge to make their kid look better than maybe he really is?
My evil twin, "Kris," has
My evil twin, "Kris," has done the same thing, too. It was a few times, late at night and she saw that "Kristen" was just too tired to fight and already mad at herself for not doing homework earlier and out of tricks and bribes and calming techniques to get a little guy to do homework. "Kris" was thinking short term -- along the lines of saving Kristen's sanity. "Kris" hopes she won't do it again but can't make any promises...
Kristen De Deyn Kirk
Editor, Mytidewatermoms.com
I can relate to your story.
I can relate to your story. Last year my third-grader was assigned a very detailed project on her family tree. We are talking copies of legal documents, scanning photos, finding maps that showed where we came from in Europe,etc. It was a doozy of a project, let's say. With her severe ADHD, I knew that this project would never get done without my help. I let her do the interview with an older family member, and I let her label some pictures, but a lot of the work was done by me! I felt this was too ambitious for a third grade assignment, so I didn't feel that bad about my contribution. Honestly, it would have never gotten done if I hadn't pulled all of the necessary information together myself.
I've had to be honest with my child's teachers that she is the queen of delay, and if she doesn't finish her homework, I am not the one to be held responsible, otherwise she will never learn that life isn't about bailouts. I can understand why you wrote in the correct answers. Probably not the best mommy moment (we've all had them) but I am sure that you won't be so tempted to do that as he gets older. I couldn't stand seeing my oldest get grades lower than a B, but now I have relaxed and if my younger children get a C, I don't freak. But a D, we-l-l-l-l....
Homework and Kids
It really helps in our household that homework is done right after dinner. That way they have exercise and are fed. We have two table cloths and after the food and dishes are up, the top cloth goes up and they have a quick clean space to work on. This also means dinner must be between 6 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Many times, my children take their bath while I am making dinner so they will be ready for homework, stories and then bed. My oldest has a lap desk so she can sit on the couch to work. For projects, we wrote titles on the poster board in pencil and then she went over it with her marker, making it her project and neat.
Susan Smigielski Acker
Great idea about the two
Great idea about the two table cloths! I think I'll try that! Thanks, Megan