It seems as though we cannot go a single day without some horrible incident being reported. In northern Virginia, Timothy Kilpatrick was abused and bullied by school district employees. Somewhere else in the USA, Kaleb Kula a boy with autism is standing at the bus stop when another boy wallops the hell out of him - with the encouragement of the other children, and, in fact, one of these children has the wherewithal to film the beatdown via his cellphone. Jacob from Oklahoma, refused to engage with bullies, yet gets kicked in the gut regardless. Again, someone found entertainment value in this and uploaded it for the world (and Police) to see. Michael Raven from Lancashire, England, bullied by a gang of girls until he killed himself. It was believed he had autism and was bullied because of it. An unnamed boy with Asperger's subjected to three days of horrible torture by three "bored" teens, survives, but will clearly never be the same.
It would be bad enough if the bullying started and ended there. But, no. Institutional bullying is all too commonplace. Children with special needs, like Amelia Rivera, being denied access to organ transplants - even from relative donors - due to the fact that they are "unworthy" of that sort of care. Scream rooms. Christopher Baker was stuffed in damn duffel bag by trained teachers at his Kentucky school. Hell, the whole entire country of France makes it a general practice to use outdated and unacceptable means of "treating" autistic patients, institutionalizes them and generally treats them as subhumans.
As a parent of a child with autism, these stories make it damn difficult to want my child out in the world. In fact, I am at the point where I just wish we could have special ed teachers come into the house for the rest of his educational career. Just the thought of him being exposed to the cruelty of other children makes my blood run cold. I want to protect him and keep him oblivious to the hatred in some people's souls.
It is getting to the point where I am afraid to have him go to school. As a parent, I tend to be one of those much bemoaned helicopter parents. I want to know who they are with, where they are going, when they will be back, their homework assignments, favorite color and current crushes. I am a worrier, and I come about it honestly. Just ask my Momma. I am all up in my kids' business - quite literally with Ted and AJ. Ask me about their last bowel movement. Go ahead. I can tell you anything you want to know. (Yes, I realize I need help.) I think about bus accidents, kidnapping attempts, date rape and rufies. Our daughter turns 16 next month. I worry. I have fears for her safety, for her future and that she will actually get into the Naval Academy.
Alex, we always surmised, would be able to tell us if she was touched in a bad place, if she was hit or prevented from getting drinks or going potty. Hell, she would come home and tell us about spelling and grammatical errors her teachers used to make on the blackboard. For that matter, she used to tell the TEACHERS, too. I was on the PTA boards. I was seen and heard at her school. I stopped fearing that they would lose her on field trips - they wanted my help with the classroom parties, after all!
With Ted, though, this is a different kind of paralysing fear. I don't think the schools can adequately protect my son. I don't think he will be safe on the bus, in the bathroom or the halls. The truth is, he is so desperate for friends, that he will be the perfect victim. He cannot tell us - or won't, whichever - what happens when he is at school. How can we teach him to protect himself, if we cannot rely on trusted adults to do it? How can we give him survival skills without setting him up for possible abuse or misuse in the process?
As a member of the human race, I question our survivability. The fact that bullying has become so incredibly brutal and that the bullies seemingly have zero remorse or conscience to restrain them is troubling to say the least.
What does it say about a society whose weakest members are not protected?
What does it say about a society wherein mob mentality and brutal violence come from even some of our youngest members?
What does it say about a society in which large groups of individuals can become incited to hurt the defenseless and innocent, that abuse can be videotaped and uploaded onto social media outlets to be seen and laughed at by thousands of people?
This is the problem.
What is the solution? What can we, society as a whole, do to stop this? Is the situation already too far gone? Do organizations such as YouTube carry responsibility? Should they be responsible for checking content - insert censorship argument here. How can you make people care about their actions if they are so quick to hurt others without provocation?
The bullies, these people without empathy or milk of human kindness, what will or should become of them? The boy whose identity was protected - you know, the one who laid the hay makers on Kaleb Kula - what will become of this child? Is he already beyond redemption? Is he on track to be a sociopath? For that matter, those kids egging him on and the boy filming? How can we get through to those people? I am going to make a gross assumption without a single shred of evidence to back this claim up...I have to assume that the kids who I just mentioned have a shit family life and that they are severely damaged. Anyone disagree?
Seriously, how can we fix this? The number of people with autism is increasing. A study on the state of bullying in the not-so-great state of Massachusetts claims that 90% of kids with autism are/have been bullied. Another quoted in a report by AbilityPath.org says 85% of special needs kiddos in general are bullied.
So back to what can we do to change this?
I guess the first step is being the change we want to see. Starting in our own homes. Making our homes a safe environment for everyone. Explaining to all of our children and family that bullying is dangerous and WRONG. Beyond that, intervening on behalf of someone you know who is a victim of bullying. Other than that, I have no idea.
I just know that as a society we are going to hell in a hand basket. We need to make some changes before it is too late.
A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members. Mahatma Ghandi
...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped. Hubert H. Humphrey
What Would Jesus Do? Evangelical Christians everywhere
